I'm a cotton underwear kind of girl. They are sexy - thongs from Victoria Secret - but cotton. I'm not accustomed to the bikinis or boy briefs or any other kind. I've worn thongs for years and I'm comfortable wearing them - fuck off don't judge me. Last time I went underwear shopping - well let's say underwear buying as I never go in that store unless I'm buying. It's too much torture otherwise - like taking a kid to Toys R Us just to look around. At any rate, last time I went I picked up a pair of silk boy short style bikini - so really it becomes a silky strip of fabric about 3" wide that circles your hips and below your belly button and they aren't really elasticy - more floaty and great to wear under a sundress because they are smooth and don't leave any panty lines.
Fast forward to my story now - I had a meeting this afternoon at the Holiday Inn Select - don't get excited it was with a visitor from Germany who was meeting with me to try and determine whether there was an opportunity for me to work with their company developing a market here. There isn't. In case you were wondering.
When I left the meeting, it was raining cats and dogs outside - but I assured my friend that I was fine and would not melt and ran out the front door of the hotel intto the rain toward my car. Instantly, I realized my mistake. My silk panties, so-floaty-and-no-underwear-lines-under-a-dress-silk-panties, began to slip. Not just a little. I could feel them sliding over my ass cheek and the hips were no longer on my hips; it was just kind of fabric bunched up where your leg meets your torso. I squeezed my thighs together so that the underwear would stay in place under my dress - so now I am running through the rain, holding my purse and my notebook and a bottle of water with my keys in my hand so I can unlock my car - which from this distance I can see I have left the sun roof open - with my knees pressed together to try and hold my increasingly precarious underwear in hiding.
As I round the corner of the building, 2 young guys - maybe in their early 20's and very cute, tanned, probably construction guys, say - oh you need an umbrella! I just kind of giggle and nod, making a hard left toward my car because my underwear are dangerously close the the hem of my sundress and I'm losing grip - and run straight into a very large, very deep puddle. The water is up over my ankles and my underwear are barely hanging on at the knees and I start laughing. I can't think of anything to do but laugh and wish miserably that someone was there to share my burning humiliation. I make it to the car - and fling the door open to see a soaking wet seat that I now have to try and desperately dry with damp kleenexes before I can get in and shut the door and pull up my underwear because as I'm standing at the driver's door, in a puddle with damp kleenex and sagging underpants the two young men are still standing at the corner of the building staring at me - wondering what in the hell this crazy, middle aged woman is giggling at all by herself.
